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I tried to embrace my inner child but it bit me
Take dogs on more walks with scale
Morning checklist
You do not scare me I was raised by a mom who had a wooden spoon
I speak frequent movie quotes
I would like to confirm I do not care
My alone time is for everyone's safety
Please cancel my subscription
Fresh sarcasm
I'm here and awake do not push me
We are all mad here
I am just checking my birth certificate
Old women kiss it
I haven't just lost my mind
Just posted a selfie
I may not be wonder woman but...
Wrinkles mean you lived
Don't hate me I am a little cooler
Mind your own business eggs are expensive
Some people are like nailing jello to a board
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